September 29.2010

I'm at the Penn Stater Hotel - having spent the afternoon working at my "part-time job". Drove up this morning - 140 miles - an about half way up I wondered if it wouldn't be easier if I took the prosthetic off. Everything feels crammed in the small floor space in the driver's side of the Prius. Stopped at a sane place and removed prosthetic and hit the road again. Must say it was a rainy and foggy trip - although when I could see the trees through the rain and fog, I realized fall was here and the colors were approaching glorious. Between the goldenrod in full bloom and the trees changing, it is a beautiful place. But back to the leg removal - this was the second time I had driven without the prosthetic in place. My immediate sense was one of vulnerability. Sort of like - I need that leg on to do whatever needs to be done. Not true of course because it is pretty useless and in the way on the road. Anyway, I must have gotten over that because I ended up playing "you pass me then I'll pass you" with a truck moving logs that was going 85 downhill and in the 60s up hill. When he was in front of me, the water coming off the back of him made it really hard to see. I think I finally got ahead of him - left him someplace in front of someone else.

That's the drive. I guess I 'got over it honey", the vulnerability thing that is. And I'll bet it happens again.

So, what's the learning on this trip? (Last trip was more learning about the bathroom at night. That learning was, move out of bed when you wake up, put the leg on, and go into the bathroom. Don't lie in bed half awake waiting for the urge to become urgent. Just get up, put on prosthesis, and do it). This trip I have forgotten the second gel liner. I have two gel liners for the residual limb. I wash one every morning and hang it to dry for the next day. So, I washed my gel liner this morning, hung it to dry, and forgot to take it with me. That means I only have the one I am wearing. I need to figure out how to "dry-clean" this one, so that I am not putting a sweat covered liner back on for two days. I think I can do this with baby wipes (which I did remember to bring - I wipe down the limb each nite after I take off the days liner).

I am getting better at living with this prosthesis every day, but I don't have it quite mastered yet. Probably never will - as usual - this is a journey, not a destination.